Managing the Challenges of being in the Sandwich Generation

Every generation is dubbed with its own nickname. Many caregivers find that they fall into what is known as the “sandwich generation.” They are typically between their 30s and 50s and are “sandwiched” between caring for their own young children or grown children and their aging parents. At the same time, they are also trying to manage their own life and needs. It can be challenging to make sure that everyone has what they need, are financially stable, and well cared for. With the right planning, caregivers can help to alleviate some of the stress they feel and better manage responsibilities.

Work with a financial planner. Finances can become a big concern when making sure that current needs are met while also trying to save for the future. A financial planner can help you to better manage these responsibilities. They can sit down with you and your senior and look at their savings, earnings, and expenses and establish a plan. This can ensure that all of your senior’s bills are paid and their investments are monitored. At the same time, a financial planner can help your grown child better manage and budget their money, or help you set up the appropriate funds to support your growing child.

Ask for help. There is no need to take on the full burden of responsibility if you do not have to. Reach out to other family members and see how they can do their part to care for your aging parents. Delegate responsibilities so that you are not trying to do everything. Look into in-home care options for your senior. Getting help from a qualified caregiver can help to ease your mind about providing quality care for your loved one. They are able to get the assistance they need on a regular basis and you have another set of eyes looking out for their wellbeing.

Encourage independence. Many seniors are still very alert and mobile. They are able to live on their own with minimal assistance. Set them up with the resources they need to continue being as independent as possible. In-home care can provide valuable services that assist them with aging in place. This can help to reduce some of the pressure you may feel to always be checking in.

Also encourage independence from your own children, whether they are young or fully grown. Teach them to take some responsibility for themselves and become more independent and self-sufficient. Set boundaries for grown children and support them in being able to move out on their own. Be firm yet compassionate.

Enjoy time together. The more you are able to balance your workload and delegate responsibilities to others, the more you will be able to simply enjoy the time spent with your loved ones. When you know that everything is being handled and everyone is safe, you can focus on making memories and spending quality time together. Don’t forget to also make time to care for yourself so that you are able to be the best parent, spouse, family member, and caregiver possible.

Although taking on the responsibilities of being in the sandwich generation can seem overwhelming at first, with proper planning and support, you can make the most of this time in your life.

Useful Strategies for Coping with the Loss of a Parent

Regardless of how old you are, the loss of a parent is a devastating and life-altering experience. For those with senior parents, the idea can actually seem completely overwhelming. While it is never easy to get over the loss of mom or dad, here are a few strategies a person can use to cope with their grief and begin to resume a normal life:

Rely on support

Many people begin to internalize their grief and emotions. They tell friends and family members that they’re fine, when they’re really going through an intense emotional crisis. Elder care professionals recommend avoiding this natural instinct, instead opting to share with family members and friends. These people are there to support you and help you get through this challenging time, so it’s important to let them know exactly how you’re feeling.  

Seek professional help

With a loss as dramatic as this one, it can often be useful to seek professional help. A trained therapist can help to equip you with the coping strategies necessary to recover and rebuild your life without your parent there. It’s also helpful to have someone who is there specifically to listen and provide support, particularly if you’re starting to feel like a burden on family members and friends.

Don’t abandon hobbies and passions

When you lose a parent, it’s tempting to sit at home and wallow. While this may seem like the best option, this actually can worsen feelings of sadness. Instead, it’s necessary to try to stick to a normal routine. Whether this means going to the gym, meeting friends for dinner, reading, or taking the dog for a walk, participating in favorite activities can help to alleviate feelings of grief. 

Attend a support group

It’s often helpful to spend time with people going through a similar situation. Locate a support group in your area, and make it a point to attend at least a few meetings. Knowing that you’re not alone in your pain is often a comforting fact. 

After you lose a parent, it’s important to remain focused on self-care. Get enough sleep, eat well, and don’t try to take on too many new additional responsibilities. This is a vulnerable time, and you shouldn’t try to overextend yourself as you heal.  It’s okay to say “no” to optional activities, and to spend time reflecting and relaxing.